The Truth

What happens when people face the truth? They cringe. They deny it. They avoid it. Because they know that they don't have capabilities to face their own pain. And yet their pride gets in the way. 

I came from a dysfunctional family with a hard patriarchy system. My mother has Life Path number 1 -- which makes me embrace the love-hate relationship with her.

Life Path number 1 has their uniqueness of leadership. In other way, they have this kind of stubbornness that makes me want to strangle them so hard. Well, it happens with my boyfriend too. Haha.

My father is a NPD. Yup the one with personality disorder. The one that you'd like to punch in the face. My brother -- well I hardly know him aside from him sitting consistently in front of his desktop. 

So can you imagine how struggling I am to face this toxicity every day? 

With LP1, my mother has tendency to ignore someone else's opinions. Including when I'm stating my boundaries.

I've been having cold and very weak for these past few weeks. My body barely catches up with me. Let alone engaging in such as house chores or activities. When I stated this to my mom, that I want to have my recovery time in a timely manner, she kept resisting. It's like she doesn't want to understand with what I've been through. She does this every time!

I told her that I'm not a machine and my body needs full recovery and requires delicate rest. I even tried to sing yesterday! Because I know that singing has been linked to the vagus nerve system (MY vagus nerve system!). Thank God it worked!

And... you know what? She got offended! I'm being punished for being true and blunt. Now you know why I told you that I came from a dysfunctional family, right?

Screw them. It's not like I'm gonna be with them forever. 

I just thought: If you cannot accept me from being authentic, then you're not the right person for me. And I don't care if you are my own family.

I don't want to sacrifice my mental health for the sake of someone else's problems!